Sunshine just mentioned to me that i really like that Chinachop girl cos i mentioned her a lot in my blog.. And before i could explain, she just upped and left.. I hate it when i can't defend myself or explain my actions so, here are my justifications:

Due to my nonexistent love life, i have a mental inclination to sort of "create" one. I mean it's boring not to have a crush if ure single. Not a serious liking but just an avenue for you to wander thru in case your thoughts do meander to relationships and related horrors.. It's not fantasy but rather something to keep u going, eye candy to keep u awake during lectures.. to keep you wondering if she'll ever say yes if u asked her out; otherwise life does hit that monotone patch and everything is so dull and lifeless, routine. And now I'm at the lowest point of my social life. When was the last date i had? Can't remember. (Going out with Sha and Ida doesn't count, sorry girls i still do love u) When was the last time i met someone new? Quite sometime back. When was the time i told a girl i liked her and wanted to ask her out? er, never actually. So pls excuse me if i tend to make a meal outta something which may seem like nothing to you. To me anything mildly related to the opposite sex is a big deal. Yas I am that sad. I hate being this pathetic. Hmmm. Come to think of it. I have nothing to look forward to. Soccer has lost its zeal. There's no more school till exams then the long break. I do wish there were more malay girls for me to look out for in school. In my whole life i have never been in the same course as a pretty Malay girl. There was a Malay classmate in JC but she was like a sister to me, plus she was attached, plus she was, er, double my size. I hate hunting outside my ground. i feel like there's no common ground. The trouble with Chinese girls is that....Well, i dun wanna get rejected cos of my race, so tats why I have never asked any of my crushes in school out. I don't mind of coz, but u never know which ones dun mind and which ones are totally against the idea.. It's damn embarassing to be told, "sorry I don't go for Malay guys".. That has not happened to me before but i can just imagine being in that spot..