Do it.

I am a slave.. i crave..

illusions of pleasure.. of leisure..

yet with every breath i take,

It is the same breath that is consumed..

These chains.. slow me down..

constrains.. yet.. i cannot refrain..

my will, held against me.. melts before me..

ashes before my very eyes..

is there no other way out?

temptation can.. will... kill.

Must purge this poison before it's too late.

Have been tryin to cut down the last few days.. Had approximately 4 sticks today. Well.. approximate cos have been sharing fags wit da guys.. u noe like a few puffs each.. so all adds up to 4.. Had 3 yesterday.. so it's a step in the right direction. Had a talk the other day with Barak and Gops.. and Barak said that we shd quit now and not after we've been smoking for like 10-15 yrs, before we've wasted our lives.. Time stopped. Barak had a point.

Anywayyy, it was valid and it struck me (hard) that i really need to get it done.. The worst part is the feelin that i NEED it. that i can't live my life without it.. I feel trapped.. like I'm in a relationship, where she follows me everywhere, even the urinals.. Come to think of it.. it kinda is that way.. .I feel insulted that i have to NEED something that much and that bad. Yet i think of the many nights that it had kept me company, kept me warm. But what the hell. I think i can do this. Not immediately of course, research shows that only 5% of smokers manage to quit by going cold turkey.. And i've recently signed up for Quitnet, an online quit smoking network which stated that i'd save $447.12/yr if i quit now. Wow. And that's in US dollarssss.. Haha. And if i were to quit for 15 yrs that'd be.. A LOT! Woo hoo.

Yet.. On a more serious note, i admit that this is gonna be hard. Wish me luck. Even now, i feel like goin to Esso to grab a pack. Hmm.. I wonder if i can quit by the end of this month.. I dunno wats a realistic target. Anyone been thru this before, or know anyone who has??

I. Need. Help.